I’m sharing my Mother’s Day wishes now because on the actual day, I just want to quietly savor my family (and I hope the same for you!). First of all, I want to give you and all women out there permission to really have a happy Mother’s Day. A hearty celebration on Mother’s Day (or any day) has no prerequisites. Happiness in this very moment does not require perfection of us, our children, our our circumstance. I, for one, am going to accept any crayon-traced handprints, wildflowers from the backyard, job coupons (that may or may not ever be redeemed), best-mommy awards, love notes, or homemade treats wholeheartedly despite having no claims to perfection as a mother.
This is our special day as women to receive some extra thanks for the mothering and nurturing we do, so let us be gracious about it! A blog post I read recently acknowledged how we sometimes vacillate between the “good mom/bad mom” extremes as we characterize our parenting efforts. This dichotomy is unnecessary and inaccurate. In reality, we are dedicated moms who are developing and learning and growing alongside our children.
A friend of mine recently faced life-threatening complications following the delivery of her 4th son. She acknowledged that her focus quickly changed from the “good mom/bad mom” question, to the simple wish to just “be there”–period. She wanted the gift of watching her children grow and being there with them. Her insight inspires me to let go of my constant self-evaluation and gently replace it with appreciation.
This is my first Mother’s Day without my own mom around, so there may be tears amid the celebration. My posts keep being about my mom, though I keep telling myself, “This is supposed to be a parenting website!!” But our day-to-day parenting is so wrapped into our underlying emotional experience; right now my life is about processing and coming to terms with the loss of my mother. I just ran across an amazing book entitled, “Motherless Daughters” by Hope Edelman (she also wrote another called “Motherless Mothers,” which I’d also like to take a look at).
OK! Now for the moment you have been waiting for . . . (drum roll) . . .
The 2017 Video Contest Winner is: “Journey of Motherhood” submitted by Elicia
In this video, Elicia captures her mothering journey, which involves joyful moments she has shared with her children, as well as the loss and sadness of losing a baby. Though Elicia acknowledged that she has not had a mother involved in her life, she honors her grandmothers (who both recently passed away)–one who helped raise her and the other who taught her she could be happy and upbeat despite the difficulties of life. Elicia’s video spoke to me because it shows the richness of her experience–both joys and sorrows.
Here are pictures of Elicia with her grandmothers.
Thank you, Elicia, for sharing your beautiful video! I hope you enjoy the yummy fruit bouquet that is coming your way 🙂